My sister-in-law and I were remembering Christmas at my mom’s house and noted how Christmas has never been quite the same since that tradition ended. We had a month of preparations, cooking and baking, buying and wrapping presents, and making endless phone calls and lists. On Christmas Eve, we’d bundle the kids in the back, hide the presents from Santa in the trunk, and travel through snow (even blizzards) to get to “Grandma’s house.” It was magical.

The real Christmas ended when my mother died. Our families moved away and we began emulating the Christmas traditions in our own homes. That worked pretty well until our kids grew up and they moved away, too. Last week, Judy and I admitted that we’re kind of sad at Christmas. There’s a longing to have the Christmas of the snowy woods, complete with sleigh bells, and there isn’t any way to make that happen anymore. This feeling may have something to do with our not living where it snows, but I think it’s more a symptom of the dispersal of family. Our kids all live in different states. I’m the lucky one because Penny lives here in Berkeley. But the whole family simply doesn’t get together very often, especially not for Christmas.

Actually, when my girls were tykes, I remember thinking “Just once, I’d like to have Christmas in my own home.” Little did I know how soon that would happen, and how every year I would long for what I had for my first 30 years. Judy said she makes a choice to be happy. I do that too, but I wish it was more natural. We confronted the emotional fixer-upper; Christmas, like a well-worn home, needed an update. Here are a few traditions I’ve created:

·         Sometime in early December, Penny and I host a cookie and candy-making day for friends. Everyone gets to take home tins of goodies to use for their own celebrations.

·         We’ve foregone the traditional Christmas tree because I finally figured out that I am allergic to fir trees. A positive aspect of this is that I don’t go through my box of ornaments and get all nostalgic and sad remembering how things used to be. Instead, I have lots of poinsettias, cyclamens, and paper whites to create a completely different look.

·         Jim and I host a Christmas Eve Open House. Since many of our friends are singers and Christmas Eve gigs happen at various times, having an open house allows people to come and go as their plans dictate and gives me a sense of tradition inspired by the spread Mom used to create. I even include some of her favorites, like meatballs, caramels, and snowballs.

Since I love snow and since we are fortunate enough to have a house in the mountains where it snows , and since many of our friends have time off between Christmas and the New Year, we have a Snow Play House Party that lasts a whole week. This week in the snow is a tradition that pulls me forward and keeps me out of the blues. The holiday remodel isn’t Christmas at Grandma’s house, but it is definitely a great way to ring out the old and ring in the new year!

© 2007, Jacqueline Hale